Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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