Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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