if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
