So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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