my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
