i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
