White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
