Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
