we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
