He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
