we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
