Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
