Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
