i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
