i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i now understand why vodka
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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