I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
