You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
