just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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