i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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