she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
