Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
