We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
