She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
