Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
