He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
