She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
