I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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