What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Randomize
