What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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