We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
