why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
