She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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