She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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