nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
