I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
