Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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