I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Bring me that man meat
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
