you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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