it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
