I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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