pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
