I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
