I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
