Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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