guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
