Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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