Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
