I think my fart just growled at me.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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