I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
