awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize