There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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