I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
do nipples grow back?
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