How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
only you would photoshop your dick
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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