i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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