That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
