Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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