Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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