I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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