Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
