well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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